Oh Crap.

Oh Crap. I am really so dead. God, why did you do this? Okay, maybe You did this for a reason, and i don't know what. But God, if You know that a miracle is going to happen, God, let your will be done. I really, leave everything into Your hands. So dear God, You gotta help me. Kay?

And Mother Mary, please mom, please protect me. -,- I'm such a weakling so you gotta protect your daughter mom. -,- No parents can stand there watching their own child get hurt right? So mom, you really gotta help me.

And my guardian angel, i know you will be beside me, guiding me through everything. And if you think i'm gonna explode, you gotta help me calm down. If not, things will really turn out worse. -,- PLEASE? Friends dont leave friends to die. -,- LOL!

Dear GOd, i say this in your precious name, AMEN. -,-

How can this happen?

Yeah, exactly, just turn the page joan, you'll get on again.

Why do i feel so down? Why should i even care? I mean, its over right? Gosh. Look at me, pathetic, i'm using my blog to listen to myself talk. I thought i'd let go, but it seems like, i haven't been able to put it down? But why was i so sure in the first place i'd let go? -,- even if i did, why is there such a stupid feeling on my chest? Gosh, i'm really gonna go insane. -,-

I suppose , this is what everyone would feel when they.. well, you know. But, i'm suppose to have let go. -,- Gosh. I don't know what should i do. I know, that i don't feel that way anymore, but... no matter how, there was a once. ARGH. i don't wanna care. I'm so tired. -,-

A post to my beloved Yinglee. ;D

My dearest, Chong Ying Lee. (YYYY----EEE-----OOOOOO!! ) XD

So yea, y'll know that from the title , its a post for my yinglee, i meant to type this a long time ago, but, i didn't really know what to say. So i'll just say what's in my heart now.

It was fate that joined us together. I would never have known her , if i hadn't join the prefectorial board, and of course, our sisters, and maybe the fact that we were in the same class. Since i've join the prefectorial board, i'm not really comfortable with... everything. But, thanks to "her" ( and of course some of my other friends) , i finally adapted to this kind of life. LOL. This girl, there are really no words to describe except GENG. haha. She is the one and only Chong Ying Lee , the siao zha bo one. XD

How do i start? Her personalities? Gosh, she has quite an awesome personality. I like her straightforward, honesty, craziness and wildness. She doesn't care what people think of her. How i envy her of that , i wish i could think that way too. And, she's really brave too. To do absolutely stupid things. :P Sometimes, she makes me wanna kill her because of some stupid things, but deep down, i know that if i kill her, i may have to live in this quiet , stupid, ghost-town-class of mine alone. And i'll end up killing myself too. XD Another thing i envy about her is that, whatever she says makes absolute sense, damn, how i wish i could do that, everyone would listen to me then. *MUAHAHAHAHA! oh well, dream on Joan. * =.=

Yinglee is someone i admire a lot. Even though we've just met last year, and we're not even as close as i am to nicholas goh (which i really wasn't close at all) we're so close now as if we've known each other for our entire lives! She knows what i'm thinking before I even know what am i thinking. (SOMETIMES) but i don't know what she thinks at all , or what she likes too , yeah i know, i'm not such a good friend after all. XD . We've gone through loads of ups and downs together this year, she knows my darkest and deepest secrets, and i know hers too. Its like we've really known each other forever.

So i just wanna say, i love you Chong Ying Lee. You made up my days during that incident. You sacrificed for me to be happy (remember this? XD) , you changed my point of view towards people, and you changed my life just like how Sweelynn changed it for the better. I am glad that we've met yinglee, aren't you? I mean, the sampatt ways we are, i think we pretty much make a good team , don't you think so? Its like the next yingyang. XD So anyway, i gotta go now. Homework siren! *BI BO BI BO BI BO!!* XD Love you muchh. >

It'll be okayy.

Hey people, its around 1 o'clock in the morning now, 12.56 a.m to be exact , so i'm not sure what should i say, good MORNING? haha. So anyway, i've decided to go counseling, do not worry my fellow friends, i am just fine, just that, i have a lot on my mind lately, and perhaps i have some unsolved problems that has been too long in me, and i finally am losing myself now. =.= Oh happy new year.

I don't know where should i start, start from the beginning you say? And where is the beginning?I realised, there are beginnings, and until you come to realise the present, only then you'll know, you've come a long way from home. And sometimes, you might feel , you wanna go back, but there is no turning back is there? There is only finding a solution, or you just keep going on and on and see where does it leads you. Maybe now is the time for us to just keep on making mistakes, just go with the flow, and see what isolated island we land on, perhaps go through what Robinson Crusoe has gone through (but i doubt that the survival percentage is high) -,-

What am i hoping now? I don't know. I don't wanna get my hopes high, why ? Perhaps the fear of getting hurt again, perhaps i have a phoebia towards this, or perhaps, i don't have the confidence to make him stay? Or maybe 3 of these with a couple more perhaps that i'm lazy to list out? I don't know, but what i know is, for now, i wanna remain like this, enjoy every moment , live life to the fullest , and love someone with all my heart , even though sometimes i feel so frustrated with him. I guess, that's what happens with your loved ones, you're frustrated with them, but you love them more than, perhaps, your own life? Maybe i do, but i just... don't wanna admit it. I love him, i know i do, maybe sometimes i just wanna get myself to believe that, all these while, i didn't really hold on because i love him, its just for the sake of holding on, but now, after thinking through everything, i finally realized, i made every right choice loving him, he is the one i want, perhaps i would want to spend my life with him. But, i'm thinking way too far already, the most important is the present right? Don't worry people, i'm happy with my life, i love the way i am now, and i will try to NOT regret any choices i've made, if not i'm gonna be whining all the day . Haha.

So, nothing really interesting happened in school nowadays, its like a ghost town here. We don't have those bright laughters, crappy people, shake-your-bootie people nowadays, goshhh. C'mon, liven up abit aye? We'll figure out some really cool games, or maybe, lame ones. Either way, let's look on the bright side that we've still got each other eh? ;D oops. Its 1.21 a.m. now, i really gotta go people, if not i'm gonna be the prettiest panda in the whole universe. XDD (;

Good night people! (; You guys rocks.

Wedding Dress

Lately, i'm becoming addicted to the song "Wedding Dress" by Big Bang. I don't know why, i just went to sleep with my mp3 on and i was listening to it and i fell asleep. And the next morning, my head is filled with that song. =.= Gosh! haha. these 2 wedding dress are pretty right? I was searching the net and i saw this, perhaps for my future wedding dress i would choose this kind. HAHA. -,- LOL.

Anyway, its near schooling time. So i gotta go! (; Byee peeps.

Eclipse ♥ part 2

Sweet couple. (; ♥

OMG. people. i am like suffocating now~ i just watched eclipse yesterday. And guess what? Its is so absofreakinglutely AWESOME. Words can't describe how i am feeling now. It is really, romantic , cool , and its action-packed this time. Not quite like new moon, which is conversational. Yea yea. I heard the feedbacks for new moon are ... well, not-so-good. But this one, omgg joan breathe breathe. Phew, i'm fine . haha. LOL

So anyway, yesterday i went to a church seminar from 9 in the morning till 5 in the evening, and yeapp, i went to mid valley straight away to join my sisters! (; so we started to shop for clothes.. FOR ME. -,- well, female ones. Which i am not really thrilled at that idea, but anyway, i can't do anything so stupid anymore, so what's the harm? XD after that, we went to secret recipe to eat, gosh, we were practically gobbling everything cuz we were kinda running out of time. Oops. :P in the end, thanks to our BELOVED melanie , *smiles weakly* -,- we missed the front part which pretty much bugged me the whole night. -,- but nevermind that, at least she came. LOL.

They cut this part. -,- LOL!

So we bought popcorns and went in. Sorry, all of us were tumbling in, because it was in the dark, and by golly! i had to keep my mouth occupied by eating the popcorns to prevent myself from shouting . -,- and when we finished the popcorn (which was at VAMPIRE speed) i had to stuff my knuckles into my mouth everytime i feel like i'm going to lose it. Well, you are right to pity the person sitting beside me, SIAO SUAN! haha. luckily i'm not watching with him, he might have the fright of his life. LOL! and me , mel , sweelynn , and siao suan were talking all the time about who is hot int he movie. HAHA!! okay okay, here comes the funny part guys, they have those make out scenes right? and yeah, i was like eating my popcorn and freezing halfway, and when they start to make out, they cut the part. =.= CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! THEY CUT THE PART!! GOSH!! and i was like, watching watching.... and *cut* and i was told siao suan , WTH!! deng! they cut it liao! -,- and she was laughing her head off. OH GOSH! haha.

After that, i was so hyped up that i kept on saying damn nice damn nice! OH gosh! and then later, we kinda played around in midvalley, like, we were going down the escalator and we went to a side first, so nicholas went down alone, then later he walked up again, and we went down. OMG! so funny larh! Later, skip skip skip.. hmm.. oh yeah, me and nicholas chased each other in the mall. How childish i know! Nicholas's idea. ;P nah, just kidding haha. So then we all went back home, nicholas and i were following siao suan's car so we laughed practically all the way home, but before that, we went somewhere to eat, i mean, siao suan's parents, nicholas ordered too since he hadn't had his dinner. LOL. I ordered a drink only. Thank you siao suan's parents for belanja-ing me! *90 degrees bow* hehe.

So that's all people! By the way, ECLIPSE IS FREAKING NICE. Please do not come up and tell me eclipse sucks or what.LOL -,- byee people!

Eclipse ♥

Aww, ain't this sweet? (;

Hey peeps, if you were wondering if i had watched eclipse, nope i haven't, but i am going to tomorrow to watch with my besties. (; ahh.. i can't wait!! Itz juz tzoo exzaiding. Oh gosh, its so hard to speak in french accent. muahaha. Sigh people, its been quite an interesting week overall. I did some really unexpected things. Like.. oh well, you guys probably know. :D and these few days, i always went to sleep with a big smile on my face. ;) even though yesterday wasn't exactly one of the best days because it was parent's day and my mom was suppose to go and take my report card. But in the end, she didn't want to. She said she didn't want to go and be humiliated in front of people. GAhh. whatever. I am so freakin' tired and I do not want to give a damn bout it anymore because its killing me.

Anyway , i really would like to say again here, we're not that kind of relationship, plus studies come first. So..honestly guys, take a break , give US a break. We're just friends, walking together talking together, is that somethign so wrong and you guys have to go all, "WHOA, are you kidding me?" or " are you guys together?" or "hey, how long have you guys been together?" WHOA! Chill it people! you guys can't just simply assume something just because you saw something that might look like SOMETHING when its really not. =.= no, seriously guys, do not think anywhere further, but stop right at friends. Okay?? I knew you guys would listen to my explanation. Thank you thank you! ;P LOve youu people. haha. (;