this is gonna be my new organ. I can't wait for it.. but, i'll miss my old organ a lot too. T.T
I went to school early today, and ...wow. I just reached school and i met him. Not quite what i expected. =.= but anyway, went to the office to find a teacher then later walk out again. LOL. The morning session was gonna have their recess. LOL. Perfect timing. haha. So anyway, walked into BP, and nicol ask me wanna go jalan jalan i said, yeah sure. So we went, she bought cincau and two stuff still unknown to science. *eww. haha! NO, i'm just fooling around. So i had to wait for her but in the mean time, found PN toh and asked her about some things. teehee. =D i didn't really care if i'm gonna see him, because i know he's gonna think of every single way to hide from me. I'm not woried about that.
Later, had to make another turning because of ''someone''. LOL. hAiz. make my life miserable. LOL. Nearly bumped into him. Hated that moment. I had to pull away first. Anyway, something that i can be proud of, I didn't cry at all. =) see?? i'm strong aren't i? Told ya,but you didn't believe me. X) Rm5 from those who didn't think i could survive~~~~ haha! Later, went to find chaw hui and carolyn, they made me go ask the camera or rechargeable battery or something something...they said she'll know. -.- so whatever, went to look for her, just went outside pandu room, xuezheng just called out to me, nearly shouted HA MI DAI SI back to him, but stopped myself in time. T.T yeah, you're right. HE was there. In the end, nodded to him and remembered that i owed him cuz he lent me his seni folio. So when he walked past i said, about your folio, i gotta borrow a bit longer. Forgotten what he said, because i wasn't paying attention. Or maybe he didn't reply... but, HE never turned back. That left his back. I tried to bang my head at the wall to get the fact INTO my head that things'll never be the same. But why? Why must i be so stubborn? I don't know too. I nearly went mad. I think he grew taller anyway. =P . LOL.
The moon is so full tonight. I keep wondering if he would think of me. But I guess not. I'll tell you the story later. But first, let me tell you about my night. When i got home from school, mom told me to hurry up and bathe because we're going to see the new electone stagea showroom. Well, because, i'm planning to get a new one. Well, it is time to upgrade my organ, i do love my current one. But, well..mom says if we get the stagea later, when we trade, its gonna be very hard.. because the longer its used, the less worth it'll be. The original price of the stagea is 47,5000 i think. Or is it 37,5000?? I dunno, cuz we got both dealers and we're trying to get the best price. So in the end, my music teacher's side got the best price..so we bought from that side. And after we trade in my current electone(EL-900), i think its gonna be...i dunno. LOL. Cuz i'm not pretty sure about the price too. Phew..but this is new stagea sure is gonna do a lot of things for me, and now we're clearing the backroom so we can fit the stagea in there. GEE...it is hard. Clearing the storeroom was never easy. -.-
And after we've signed all those stuff, we went back home. MOM and dad dropped me and my sis off and go pak to. T.T haha! zadao! Nah, i'm just kidding, they went to the supermarket to buy things...dunno what. =.= so i on the computer because there was homework to do, and of course when you on the comp, its kinda hard to resist online-ing..=.= as soon as i onlined, there was this sign that said, i appear offline, do i wanna appear online,i pressed enter!! OMGG..LOL. actually i wanted to change back to appear offline, but something stopped me. i hesitated before saying hi, little did i know...he was....occupied. I let him have the last word. Twice. I can't believe i'm that speechless when i'm facing him. GAHH! and his last word was ''fine''. I'm tired of lying ''i'm fine i'm fine''. ''No, i'm not gonna cry over that jerk.'' cuz in the end, i'll just end up having to hold my tears and going back home to cry. and mom's gonna ask why which will be hard for me to answer. I'm afraid i just won't be the same JOAN i was anymore. Its hard to be cheerful when i don't have the mood. Which i seldom have these days.
If you ever read this, please remember that i really am not trying to make you guilty. because you've done your part. I should be doing my part too. I won't force you..because i know what you want. We have different goals in life, and for our goals we are running apart from each other, and ... yeah. i guess it'll never work out for you. But i just wanna know, isn't there any chance to be together anymore? I know i'm holding on to the past,
but.................i don't wanna live with regrets too.
T.T
