A post to my beloved Yinglee. ;D

My dearest, Chong Ying Lee. (YYYY----EEE-----OOOOOO!! ) XD

So yea, y'll know that from the title , its a post for my yinglee, i meant to type this a long time ago, but, i didn't really know what to say. So i'll just say what's in my heart now.

It was fate that joined us together. I would never have known her , if i hadn't join the prefectorial board, and of course, our sisters, and maybe the fact that we were in the same class. Since i've join the prefectorial board, i'm not really comfortable with... everything. But, thanks to "her" ( and of course some of my other friends) , i finally adapted to this kind of life. LOL. This girl, there are really no words to describe except GENG. haha. She is the one and only Chong Ying Lee , the siao zha bo one. XD

How do i start? Her personalities? Gosh, she has quite an awesome personality. I like her straightforward, honesty, craziness and wildness. She doesn't care what people think of her. How i envy her of that , i wish i could think that way too. And, she's really brave too. To do absolutely stupid things. :P Sometimes, she makes me wanna kill her because of some stupid things, but deep down, i know that if i kill her, i may have to live in this quiet , stupid, ghost-town-class of mine alone. And i'll end up killing myself too. XD Another thing i envy about her is that, whatever she says makes absolute sense, damn, how i wish i could do that, everyone would listen to me then. *MUAHAHAHAHA! oh well, dream on Joan. * =.=

Yinglee is someone i admire a lot. Even though we've just met last year, and we're not even as close as i am to nicholas goh (which i really wasn't close at all) we're so close now as if we've known each other for our entire lives! She knows what i'm thinking before I even know what am i thinking. (SOMETIMES) but i don't know what she thinks at all , or what she likes too , yeah i know, i'm not such a good friend after all. XD . We've gone through loads of ups and downs together this year, she knows my darkest and deepest secrets, and i know hers too. Its like we've really known each other forever.

So i just wanna say, i love you Chong Ying Lee. You made up my days during that incident. You sacrificed for me to be happy (remember this? XD) , you changed my point of view towards people, and you changed my life just like how Sweelynn changed it for the better. I am glad that we've met yinglee, aren't you? I mean, the sampatt ways we are, i think we pretty much make a good team , don't you think so? Its like the next yingyang. XD So anyway, i gotta go now. Homework siren! *BI BO BI BO BI BO!!* XD Love you muchh. >

It'll be okayy.

Hey people, its around 1 o'clock in the morning now, 12.56 a.m to be exact , so i'm not sure what should i say, good MORNING? haha. So anyway, i've decided to go counseling, do not worry my fellow friends, i am just fine, just that, i have a lot on my mind lately, and perhaps i have some unsolved problems that has been too long in me, and i finally am losing myself now. =.= Oh happy new year.

I don't know where should i start, start from the beginning you say? And where is the beginning?I realised, there are beginnings, and until you come to realise the present, only then you'll know, you've come a long way from home. And sometimes, you might feel , you wanna go back, but there is no turning back is there? There is only finding a solution, or you just keep going on and on and see where does it leads you. Maybe now is the time for us to just keep on making mistakes, just go with the flow, and see what isolated island we land on, perhaps go through what Robinson Crusoe has gone through (but i doubt that the survival percentage is high) -,-

What am i hoping now? I don't know. I don't wanna get my hopes high, why ? Perhaps the fear of getting hurt again, perhaps i have a phoebia towards this, or perhaps, i don't have the confidence to make him stay? Or maybe 3 of these with a couple more perhaps that i'm lazy to list out? I don't know, but what i know is, for now, i wanna remain like this, enjoy every moment , live life to the fullest , and love someone with all my heart , even though sometimes i feel so frustrated with him. I guess, that's what happens with your loved ones, you're frustrated with them, but you love them more than, perhaps, your own life? Maybe i do, but i just... don't wanna admit it. I love him, i know i do, maybe sometimes i just wanna get myself to believe that, all these while, i didn't really hold on because i love him, its just for the sake of holding on, but now, after thinking through everything, i finally realized, i made every right choice loving him, he is the one i want, perhaps i would want to spend my life with him. But, i'm thinking way too far already, the most important is the present right? Don't worry people, i'm happy with my life, i love the way i am now, and i will try to NOT regret any choices i've made, if not i'm gonna be whining all the day . Haha.

So, nothing really interesting happened in school nowadays, its like a ghost town here. We don't have those bright laughters, crappy people, shake-your-bootie people nowadays, goshhh. C'mon, liven up abit aye? We'll figure out some really cool games, or maybe, lame ones. Either way, let's look on the bright side that we've still got each other eh? ;D oops. Its 1.21 a.m. now, i really gotta go people, if not i'm gonna be the prettiest panda in the whole universe. XDD (;

Good night people! (; You guys rocks.

Wedding Dress

Lately, i'm becoming addicted to the song "Wedding Dress" by Big Bang. I don't know why, i just went to sleep with my mp3 on and i was listening to it and i fell asleep. And the next morning, my head is filled with that song. =.= Gosh! haha. these 2 wedding dress are pretty right? I was searching the net and i saw this, perhaps for my future wedding dress i would choose this kind. HAHA. -,- LOL.

Anyway, its near schooling time. So i gotta go! (; Byee peeps.

Eclipse ♥ part 2

Sweet couple. (; ♥

OMG. people. i am like suffocating now~ i just watched eclipse yesterday. And guess what? Its is so absofreakinglutely AWESOME. Words can't describe how i am feeling now. It is really, romantic , cool , and its action-packed this time. Not quite like new moon, which is conversational. Yea yea. I heard the feedbacks for new moon are ... well, not-so-good. But this one, omgg joan breathe breathe. Phew, i'm fine . haha. LOL

So anyway, yesterday i went to a church seminar from 9 in the morning till 5 in the evening, and yeapp, i went to mid valley straight away to join my sisters! (; so we started to shop for clothes.. FOR ME. -,- well, female ones. Which i am not really thrilled at that idea, but anyway, i can't do anything so stupid anymore, so what's the harm? XD after that, we went to secret recipe to eat, gosh, we were practically gobbling everything cuz we were kinda running out of time. Oops. :P in the end, thanks to our BELOVED melanie , *smiles weakly* -,- we missed the front part which pretty much bugged me the whole night. -,- but nevermind that, at least she came. LOL.

They cut this part. -,- LOL!

So we bought popcorns and went in. Sorry, all of us were tumbling in, because it was in the dark, and by golly! i had to keep my mouth occupied by eating the popcorns to prevent myself from shouting . -,- and when we finished the popcorn (which was at VAMPIRE speed) i had to stuff my knuckles into my mouth everytime i feel like i'm going to lose it. Well, you are right to pity the person sitting beside me, SIAO SUAN! haha. luckily i'm not watching with him, he might have the fright of his life. LOL! and me , mel , sweelynn , and siao suan were talking all the time about who is hot int he movie. HAHA!! okay okay, here comes the funny part guys, they have those make out scenes right? and yeah, i was like eating my popcorn and freezing halfway, and when they start to make out, they cut the part. =.= CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! THEY CUT THE PART!! GOSH!! and i was like, watching watching.... and *cut* and i was told siao suan , WTH!! deng! they cut it liao! -,- and she was laughing her head off. OH GOSH! haha.

After that, i was so hyped up that i kept on saying damn nice damn nice! OH gosh! and then later, we kinda played around in midvalley, like, we were going down the escalator and we went to a side first, so nicholas went down alone, then later he walked up again, and we went down. OMG! so funny larh! Later, skip skip skip.. hmm.. oh yeah, me and nicholas chased each other in the mall. How childish i know! Nicholas's idea. ;P nah, just kidding haha. So then we all went back home, nicholas and i were following siao suan's car so we laughed practically all the way home, but before that, we went somewhere to eat, i mean, siao suan's parents, nicholas ordered too since he hadn't had his dinner. LOL. I ordered a drink only. Thank you siao suan's parents for belanja-ing me! *90 degrees bow* hehe.

So that's all people! By the way, ECLIPSE IS FREAKING NICE. Please do not come up and tell me eclipse sucks or what.LOL -,- byee people!

Eclipse ♥

Aww, ain't this sweet? (;

Hey peeps, if you were wondering if i had watched eclipse, nope i haven't, but i am going to tomorrow to watch with my besties. (; ahh.. i can't wait!! Itz juz tzoo exzaiding. Oh gosh, its so hard to speak in french accent. muahaha. Sigh people, its been quite an interesting week overall. I did some really unexpected things. Like.. oh well, you guys probably know. :D and these few days, i always went to sleep with a big smile on my face. ;) even though yesterday wasn't exactly one of the best days because it was parent's day and my mom was suppose to go and take my report card. But in the end, she didn't want to. She said she didn't want to go and be humiliated in front of people. GAhh. whatever. I am so freakin' tired and I do not want to give a damn bout it anymore because its killing me.

Anyway , i really would like to say again here, we're not that kind of relationship, plus studies come first. So..honestly guys, take a break , give US a break. We're just friends, walking together talking together, is that somethign so wrong and you guys have to go all, "WHOA, are you kidding me?" or " are you guys together?" or "hey, how long have you guys been together?" WHOA! Chill it people! you guys can't just simply assume something just because you saw something that might look like SOMETHING when its really not. =.= no, seriously guys, do not think anywhere further, but stop right at friends. Okay?? I knew you guys would listen to my explanation. Thank you thank you! ;P LOve youu people. haha. (;

Baby tell me what you waiting for. ;P

Hey peeps, i'm blogging....in school. AHA! Cool eh? Hmm...let's see..actually nothing interesting happened these few days. I mean , seriously , I think the world's running outta laughter. Haha. Anyway, since i'm here , i might as well blog about what happened yesterday.

Okay, people... see, during civic, we were on this topic about "warisan tradisional" or something about that. Yeah.. last week, we did tikar mengkuang...which was a total disaster because out beloved Nicholas Goh forgotten to inform us to bring colour paper. And the teacher was so demanding and she just said , "I tak kisah, i nak kamu buat, i nak kamu pass up hari ini, i nak... i nak...i tak kisah...". DENG. =.= Me and Yinglee were like..gosh-what-is-your-problem look. -,- So anyway, guess what we used to do the ultimate stupid tikar mengkuang?? Okayy, yinglee had a few pieces of colour paper, few, as in, TWO.=.= haha. so yeah.. we divided the piece of paper, and guess what ? we ran outta colour paper, so we used?? The Scholastic book list. OWhh.. brilliant aren't we ? XD. And yeah... so this week, the teacher brought in congkak for us. Whee~ not that fun. I mean, i play it all day long at home when i was small and now i have to play it again? Oh puh-lease. SO anyway, i could see that yinglee was kinda excited about it. She was like, hey i wanna play i wanna play! haha. and okay, i was versus-ing Jovyn that time. and she started first so she got a long time going round and round... and we were exchanging sarcastic words all the time. Like, when i want her to stop, i would say, hey, your luck is back. And then she would be so mad.. and everyone was like saying she's gonna win... and i just said simply, i win all the time. i should let people have a chance.. and Jovyn was like... SHUT UP YOU BITCH. ahaha. Gosh.. and when we were gonna play finish , i just said jokingly , " hey , winner takes it all . The winner keeps the game. Woohoo! Go Jovyn. Compliments from joan. " ahaha. Gosh. it was quite an interesting period aye? Phew. My neck is sore now.. cuz i'm not suppose to go online and BLOG , but to cari maklumat. And what does it have to do with the neck you ask? Cuz the teacher is sitting behind me, so i have to keep on looking if she's looking at what i'm doing . Ouch. The pain the pain!!! -,- LOL.

Hmm.. last night? Nah.. nothing happened. Just that i promised him i would see him after his school time and before my school time. Whee. Pretty cool plan huh? hehe . Yeah, you can bet.. i went to sleep with big smile on my face. (; gosh. things start going right now. I guess i have to thank God for making all of these come true. Without God, i would be totally useless. Or maybe, without God, i wouldn't exist. Oh yeah, yinglee was suppose to go to petroscience today until the first four period. But because soon chern wasn't going, so yinglee didn't want to go. Quite absurb if you ask me, i mean like, its such a good opportunity to go learn and play at the same time.. ponteng ma. YOR. and i've already got my " ponteng schedule" all plan. and what is my schedule? Every bell ring, i will go and see him. LOL. see? isn't that a wonderful opportunity? GAHH. So anyway people, i gotta go. Because i think i'm gonna be killed if the teacher finds out. haha. Byee peeps!

I need you now. ♥

I don't know what will happen if I trust you one more time. But I love you more than I did.

Hey peeps, kinda feeling a mixture of feelings now. Sad, angry, happy, perhaps even frustrated. Its all jumbled up and i'm feeling so tired of life. I mean, what's going on now. One part seems in place, him and me. ♥ But about my friendship , it doesn't seem to be getting better. I fight with my best friend all day long, and i'm tired and sick of it. I reckon its probably maybe I can't accept the stupid things that she's doing nowadays. Its just honestly, seriously, STUPID. If you ask me. Because you would not believe what she did if i told you. So i'm not gonna tell you. :X =.= It is absolutely the most absurd thing you will ever hear. =.=

Oh gosh. Everything seems to come so fast. I cannot believe that its been 3months since he told me that thing. And now, look. Its really unbelievable for me. I mean, i know for some people, you will say, he likes you,you like him. What's the problem ? Go for it guys! Okayy, lemme get this straight with you people, i mean, we're not that kind of relationship. Really. Just friends. Like more than best friends, sister brotherly love? Oh gosh . who am i trying to kid? =.= I can actually imagine you peoples' face, its like :" UH HUH. KEEP TALKING. BUT NO ONE IS GONNA BELIEVE YOU." =.= Sigh. I wish time could go back. I want to be in his arms again, i wanna know what's the feeling to fall in love again and again and again. Its just so electrifying everytime i see him. Its either my whole face goes red like its getting ready to explode, or i can feel the heat travelling through my body at the speed of light. =.=

To someone, I do love you, but I want you to know what you're getting yourself into. Because if i get hurt again, i don't think i'll survive it. I've ran out of tears. I can't do it anymore. And please, don't think too far. Think of the present. Thinking too far doesn't help the situation. All we have to do is just keep our minds close from anything-that-is-not-suitable-for-our-age, and do THOSE kind of things. Just.... stay by me. I want to remember your presence beside me, not to remember that you have once stood beside me. (; ILY OPO. do you know that? ;P perhaps you mean everything to me. Once more.

Weee~

Okay okay , people. I'm back yeah. Gosh, its been really hectic these days. What with the chinese elocution , pandu stuffs , and some relationship problems to take care of. Sigh . Lately, i've been thinking a lot. Seriously, it seems like everything i do is a matter between life or death. And I am so damn FREAKING tired of this. And really, i've noticed that one of my best friend is making the biggest mistake of her life. Literally. Not just one . It seems as if she's lost her common sense, so she's doing stupid things all the time. If she weren't my best friend, i would have killed her. =.=

Its not that i'm jealous that you got into a relationship again. Really . I mean , i wouldn't want to go into a relationship. But , honestly , you really should think again. If that's what you really want , i won't say anything about it. But the problem is you don't even have any feelings for xxx! You know, it would make people think that you're just playing his feelings . Not that i think like that. Don't get the wrong idea , but i don't want you to repeat the mistake i made. I thought i love him too, but it wasn't like what i thought. Anyway, that has pass, and i ... I don't know what to say. Scissors boy has the same opinion as me. So... break a leg. =.=

I like the way you sound in the morning

we're on the phone without a warning

I realized your laugh is the best sound i have ever heard.

I like the way i can't keep my focus

I watch you talk but you didn't notice

I hear the words but all i can think is we should be together.

(;

I wanna fall in love with you again.

I won't deny the fact that I cried. Because you really mean a lot to me, but no matter what , you've left a scar right in the middle of my heart . Sorry can't cure it , because , the damage is done .

What A Day.

Geez guys. Something went very wrong today. I'm really pissed off at everything . To start , my shoes. The whole freaking day my shoes was wet , and i was like , trying to chill. But in the end, some idiots who actually "STIMULATED" my anger, got the best of me.

To her , so what? You're not trying to hide ? Find someone ? Please , why don't you just tell me that you're gonna talk to that person ? I don't care, and i'm sorry if I was pulling you away , cuz.. well , cuz i thought maybe you would want to avoid some stuffs. Well , i guess i don't know you so well like i thought . You might as well spill it all out and get it over, done with. Because, hey.. Its not like i'll die. I could have saved myself from all the trouble from racking my brain to think of the best way or solution. But if you don't want , that's totally fine with me, i'm totally absolutely fine with it. You can go and be with him for all I care. You know? Pfft. But instead what did you do? You ran over , and i was shouting to you like someone who lost her mind to come back. You know , you could at least tell me so I won't make a fool out of myself. Like i said, its your life. You can honestly do whatever you want , and i won't stop you. Cuz you know what? Now i know that perhaps i wasn't always first . Which proved it today. During this incident. DO you know, how much pain it was? Did you know, i had to keep my jaws together to prevent myself from crying? DID you know , that i had to bear that unworthy person's glare? If i did not bear it, i would have dug out his eyes. DID YOU EVEN KNOW THIS? you don't , do you? Does the word sister even mean anything to you? No, scratch that, I should say, FRIEND. Does it? I can just say , i'm totally disappointed in your behaviour today. You still ask me to not get so worked up? Try having this, and let's see who's patience is better.

To another one, i don't have the right to say anything, i know. I totally get it, and i won't say anything sensitive. But i'll just say this, if you think that the other group is better, go on. I don't mind. I don't want you to think us as your burden. I didn't even know you had a blog, you never even told me. And you thank some people whom you barely know, whereas you've know us for at least 1 year, and you didn't even mention us. Fine , i admit, we're not as cool as them, we're those goody goody who only study and talk about books, yeah, at least its better than wasting time on things that can't help you at all. You know what? I really hope that you could at least tell me or us, about whatever you haven't told us. Or you can choose to keep a secret forever, but nothing on earth stays a secret forever.

When I needed you most when I needed a friend, you let me down now

Friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks

Sunday School

Okay okay, perhaps there will be something interesting for this post. Cuz i just came back from church , and during sunday school , a couple of hilarious incidents happened. Okay , today's topic was about DREAMS AND DECISIONS and HAPPINESS.

Life can be exciting. Sometimes it seems as if we are changing and growing not only from day to day but also from seconds to seconds. Our dreams for the future may change just as fast. Whether we realize it or not , we are making many decisions about our lives each day, These choices can spell the difference between success and failure in life, right? I , for one , when i was a little girl , i used to dream that i could be one of the princess in those fairy tales , i bet all girls have thought about being princess right? And your prince charming would come and take you by the hand and lead you dancing in the woods. *gazes off dreamily... and snaps back to life.* Okay! FOCUS. erm.. where were we? Oh right, princesses. Well , here 's the real world isn't it? There aren't anything like these , the categories should give us the idea right? FAIRY TALES, and fairy tales DO NOT exist. Teacher Anne told us she used to wish she could own a chocolate factory when she was a little girl too. Yeah , i did have that dream too , that is , after watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. haha. (;

Okay , moving on to the topic of HAPPINESS , the teacher assigned us to write out 3 things that make us happy , wanna know mine? Travelling , reading and spending time with my love ones . One of the boys in my class said , he wished he could have an interview with the Holland striker (he mentioned the name , but i didn't catch what he said ). Another guy who was kind plump said , eating makes him happy. haha , he lives to eat . That's really one of the best. haha. Now , explain your understanding of happiness. Are you thinking?? It really is hard isn't it? So when teacher asked me , i just shrugged. Because i 'm not sure what would be the best answer. The teacher moved on and asked everyone what is their understanding of happiness , one answered be happy with your life and just live life to the fullest . Now , teacher told us her definition of happiness . Its being in the right relationship with Jesus and doing what God wants us to do. Perhaps i'm not mature enough , but i don't understand this statement. Oh well , i suppose i'll understand it sooner or later.

Anyway , the whole afternoon i was having guitar class , and whoaa. the tips of my finger is numb now. Honestly, i do envy those people who could play the guitar and they're totally indulged in the music , so.. in order to reach my goal , i have to keep holding on. *play avril lavigne's KEEP HOLDING ON * LOL. haha. anyway, that's all folks. (; love youu people. CHEERS! ♥

Speechless over the edge and just Breathless

hey people, I know i know. Please forgive me if my posts have been absolutely bored and you haven't even got to the second line you're yawning your head off . Well , i sincerely hope that your head hasn't dropped if not that would be like... whoaa. *rolls eyes.* Swtz. Okay okay. Um... so what would you guys like me to talk about? What a stupid question huh?? Well, i'm just gonna... tell you about what happened lately.

Friday

I went to attend the debate competition. Do not get the wrong idea, i'm not competing, i'm just one of the audience. And yeah, although there are quite a few weird parts in the debate, overall.. its actually quite good. They've got the points, and stuffs. But i'm not sure that they have the confidence to present it. Anyway, congrats to the winning group. And i wasn't feeling exactly awesome that day , and one of the pelajar got on my nerves. Geez , i didn't want to be so harsh, but trust me, you got yourself into deep shit. Anyway, who cares about that pelajar. Moving on , when i went to practice my elocution , saw him, and i slipped and bit my own tongue. Gosh. Went to see him during recess. That's about it.

Just went to view sweelynn's blog. Seems like she'd let go too. Yinglee and she had let go. I'm the only one left, i thought very long about it , its not a matter about whether i WANT or not , its a matter about me clinging on to the past , i may be stubborn at times like i said , and sometimes i feel like , i can't let go . But sometimes, i feel like, the time has come, it is indeed time to put him down and move on. But i can't, i honestly can't. If i can't see him one day in school , i don't feel ...right. Waiting for his msgs until my heart aches so much makes me insane. I hope you know what you want , because things are getting out of hand. I'm falling for you all over again. ;(((

Baby tell me you love me. ♥

0701 -Today.

Okay, today nothing interesting happened. Except when i went to school to do the Star Magazine this morning , I think Yinglee either got up on the wrong side of the bed , or she just went mad. haha. You know what guys? OUr magazine wasn't exactly a magazine, it was more like a folio-type magazine. And we were like, "wey , very k yeng lor".... and then, all of us will think, "nevermind, as long as we submit it in, we get pizza voucher. " so all of us were like PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA. LOL.

And then, the prefects had to take our lembaga picture, so we queue up according to our heights and got ready. And seriously, i don't know why the hell they need so long to take larh, i'm becoming burnt larh . LOL. SO me and nicol lor were like, hey guys! why are we waiting? Yo, man. I don't fancy the thought of dying so fast larh. So after taking finish.... pretty much nothing happened.

Oh yea, when we went back class and we had KH with 2a12, so i sat with phuiyeng, yinglee sat with soon chern in front.OMG. Something damn funny happened. I don't know how to put it. If you wanna know, ask me directly. I'll tell you.

Yeah, honestly nothing funny happened except that we told each other horror stories which freaked yinglee out so much that she had to shout everytime. =.= Gosh. I nearly burst out laughing la. I'm not trying to be 幸灾乐祸，but seriously, now i know her weakness. Muahaha! LOL.

Okay , erm.. i think that's all. Its just a lame post, cuz i'm feeling bored now. LOL .

Oh darling i wish you were here. ♥