I wish that life is like drawing, when you go wrong, you can just rub it off.

Have you guys ever felt tired of life? Lately, i'm beginning to get tired of it. I wish that life was like when everything goes wrong you can just delete it. I can't really be happy of everything. I'm trying to change. Change myself for the better. But, its not possible right? Yeah...i know nothing is impossible but i really am so tired.

He is my first concern. I do not want anyone to start asking him any stupid questions about anything stupid. Just leave him alone, let it go guys. Its really isn't any your business, so just mind your own business, there's no way the truth will come out.

I think i've decided to live on life without him. I must try, without trying, i'll never know whether i can live on. But i know, choosing any road, it must start with this. Letting go of him. As usual, he's got a headstart before me again. I can't say that if he is happy, i'll be REALLY happy.I'll just be happy for him. But, whether i'll live down the regrets i don't know. I guess it all depends on me now right? He's moved on, i gotta move on too. I know, but why whenever i want to move on, something will come and stop me from moving on.

I shouldn't be focusing on these i know, studies comes first. I know, i know. I just, feel so bad inside whenever i see those couples. I try to smile like i don't give a damn of what's happening. But in the end, i'm just killing myself. Seeing him makes it so hard to breathe, thinking of him makes it so hard to focus.

Sometimes i think to myself, is it because i still believe i love him, and that's why i'm not letting go. Or is it because i really can't let him go? Which ever way, its killin' me. Everyday i see him, i try picturing some other girl beside him, but the thought of it makes me nauseus. It makes me feel so..... so.... jealous? I can't believe i'm finally feeling jealous. HAh, i'm honestly going mad.

Now playing Wedding Dress by Big Bang.

Goodbye EL 900

Hey guys, sorry i did not blog for such a long time. Pretty busy these days. And you know, my electone is gonna be trade in for a new one today. I need to let out my feelings so i decided to blog. Luckily when she's gonna be given out that i'm in school, then i wouldn't need to cry. But oh boy, sure as hell i'll miss her. She'd accompanied me through 2 heartbreaks before. Gosh, can you believe that i'm crying for something that is a non-living thing? I can't believe it too.

I only wish, whoever it was sold to, will treat it nicely. Treat her well, she's been a very good, no, scratch that, an AWESOME electone, the BEST ''non-living friend'' ever. YOu may ask, why don't i keep both of them, new and old, well, because its traded in. If i don't trade in, the price is about RM 47,500.(if i'm not mistaken)so when i trade in, its for like,around a few thousands, and then price is around 30,000 i think. Yeah...How many songs have i played on her before.. when i was feeling angry or emo or sad, she would ''listen''. Gosh, I'll really really really miss her like hell. Anyway, i gotta go now. Exam time. Byee. =(

Life after you

Ignore the title , i just heard this song on the radio and as i listened to the lyrics, i wonder if its similar as my situation. Hmm, perhaps a little. Another day has gone, i wonder if i ever crossed his mind. But then, it's not happening. Though my heart hurts whenever i thought of him, but apparently, this is the fact. This is reality, no matter how much i want my story to be a fairytale which are happy-ever-after-endings, this is the FACT. Perhaps it may be hard to get it into my mind, i'm still trying. I haven't succeeded, but maybe one day i will.

Sigh. I don't wanna be a heartbreaker, and i don't wanna hurt innocent guys. But i have to tell ''you'', because someone took my heart and won't give it back. Literally. So i can't really take your heart. I'm sorry. Sorry X1000000000 . I know maybe sorry is not enough for you. But i wouldn't say sorry if i didn't mean it. I honestly wanna focus on my studies. Yes, its true. Its not because of someone. It really is because of my studies. I don't wanna disappoint my parents anymore.

Okay, i'm sorry that nowadays my posts are weird and stuff. Sorry, its just that, nowadays i don't know why, getting nightmares are a must when i sleep. I always wake up in the middle of the night, sweating. Or i would wake up, crying in my sleep. OR, i would cry myself to sleep. Please do not ask me what's happening to myself. I don't know too, i don't want it to happen. Perhaps, i watch some disturbing movies that's all. Byee! =P

Crap post.

Hey peeps. Before you kill me for not updating my blog, lemme explain. Erh herm. Okay, ue to the fact that we're GONNA have exam, i'm studying hard cuz i DO NOT want to disappoint my parents anymore. So i've decided to turn over a new leaf. *nods head. Pretty good explanation huh? So now you're asking, why am i on the comp? Well, i got tired and wanted to have a GOOD rest. Makes sense? Yeah, it does huh?

So, i'm fine and well, don't ask anymore. Even though i'm not fine now, i WILL be. I'm just typing this short post, because, i don't have anything to say. so, byee~ =)

Photos. ♥

I'll let the pics do the talking. I'm honestly a lazy pig nowadays.


What am i writing?? blekk~


HAha~

=P hehe.

LOL! Don't understand?? Haha. Thought so.

This one, please i did not say nor do anything about it. After our prefects meeting, i saw this and took a pic of it. =.=

See?? A few of us were sitting on the floor not listening to ''someone''. LOL.

HAHA!! XD

Yinglee and me. I look weird. LOL.

AHHA!! My pandu juniors didenda. Muahaha!

Ji Qing and me.

3 weeks.

I've survived for 3 weeks. C'mon guys, how about a round of applause, standing ovation?? At least i'll feel the glory. Haha. Nahh, i'm just kidding. I just thought of some thing, i would like to write about myself in this post, well, i'm not saying that i like being in the spotlight, its just that, i don't know. Maybe i'm using my blog to hear myself think.

Okay, if i would i want to write an About Me, i would start off with, hmm...perhaps hyper would make a good headstart. I can't exactly sit still, nor can i stand still, and i must jump wherever i go. Yeah, go on, i AM a kid. So what? Maybe i need more time than others to mature... Or maybe i just don't wanna grow up. Next, i am, perhaps the worst crybaby ever in the world. Once i start, its kinda hard to stop me. But my friends are the most patient, caring, and loving pals in the universe, who would stand by me and make sure i'm alright, no, not alright, i'm GREAT, only they'll take a step back. Jealous that i have friends like these? Well, being me has its advantages.

Now, carry on... I'm incredibly stubborn. I have to learn things the hard way only i can get that what-so-ever thing into my hard head. And that often drove mom and dad off the railway. Oops . :X Moving on, I can't let others have the last say, i love arguing for the sake of arguing, that's why mom says, if i don't just argue for the sake of arguing, i might be the best lawyer ever. Which i never dreamed of becoming, because, geez, i don't know. I love eating chocolates and oreos, dipped with peanut butter. Ever tried that? Right, before we move on, i'll just add something in, i'm weird. VERY WEIRD. But my friends accept me for who i am. =) okay, continue, where did i stop? Oreos dipped with peanut butter right? Awesome. Yeah, i'm weird. But whatever. And i love ice-creams, jelly beans, and all kinds of stuff that kids like. Like i said, i probably haven't matured yet. Haha.

I fell in love with a guy, named OPO. List out the things i love about him? The way he plays with his hair, how he's obsessed with his hair. And his love for saying ''LOL''. I could never forget the first time he was ever ''tiga-lapan''. All i could ever remember was, him, standing there, quiet, cool and stuff. He loves football too. Which pretty much took away breaths of girls who saw him. Well, i met him before i saw him play football. So that doesn't count. HAHA. List out his weakness?? Um... * gone for 20 minutes. Sat in front of this comp for 10 minutes. Looking at all his messages for 30 minutes * and i still can't figure out any. oh God Bless Me. Gahh.

I honestly kept every message of his. I don't know why i still can't put him down. Everytime i text him, I'll text halfway, and then, stop in the middle, and end up tossing my phone to one side, putting my head in my hands and cry. Its like an everyday rountine. It hurts me to have to hear his name with another girl, but what can i do? I promised i would forget EVERYTHING if he was happy. And he is, i have to keep my promise. I fake a smile, so i wouldn't have to explain what i'm feeling on the inside, which is terribly hard to explain, even if i could explain it, no one would understand it. Everytime i see him, i feel my face going red, spreading like a disease through my whole body, and i would start to feel :'' WOw, its a hot day huh?? " even after it just rained a hurricane. And people would give me the : " Wow, are you sick?" look. Geez. I tremble like when the predator is getting ready to eat the prey, and i'm the prey. He's the predator. A very charming predator. Which i probably would surrender without a struggle. Gosh.

So, i'll just brief you guys on what i'm gonna do today. Um, at maybe 3 something, i'm gonna go for music class, and then, i'm gonna have to go to my cousin bro's death anniversary. =.=

I know its gonna be hard, but i'll manage through.

I can't put down the past,

everything we do seems to need time,

everything we do seems to pull us apart,

as if trying to test our faith.

I won't leave you to pick up the pieces,

but somehow,

someone has to pick up the leftovers,

in a relationship, there can be only two person,

when its not you,

its definitely me.

And do you know,

everything you do tears me apart,

but the one that breaks most is my heart,

you promised that you'll take care of it,

no matter what,

till world's end,

so i left you this part.

But in the end,

even fairytales has to come

to an end now,

I tried to find the remedy of turning back time,

but time,

just kept going on,

as if it doesn't give a damn of what i'm trying to do,

And inevitably,

it will be over,

nothing'll be the same,

i'll try to recover but not fully,

because i'm so lost without you.

pls leave comments on the song. thanks! =)

Happy Birthday Melanie!

Okay, to start this awesome day, let's say something first,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELANIE!

Sorry for the late post, i know i said that i would post it in the morning but, then i thought about the surprise we were about to give you. And i thought, you would understand. Hehe. so, okay, skip every part until recess. I ate so fast like there was no tomorrow. And then, i ran up to block E like i'm acting one part of 2012. LOL. And then, i came up, all of them grinned at me..haha. Its showtime babeh. X)

So as usual, melanie came out first, waiting for the others to come out. And then we purposely as cheeching to come out later.. and melanie was like, why is she so slow~~~!! And then, later... i ask sweelynn come out last, and we all gave it to her together. She was like, for me?!! for me?!! Then me and siao suan say: NO, for US. =.= Haha, then she opened the present we gave her and guess what? Its a photo frame. With, photos of us! I hope she liked it. Haha. We planned so long, and everyday i had to text siao suan and both of us keep discussing what to do. Hahahaha~

Actually we planned on giving her after school, LUCKILY WE DIDN'T HOR?!! XDDD whyy?? sendiri tahu sudah boleh.. X) So anyway, I know its a really short post Mel, but, i dunno what to write already. T.T .. wish that all your dreams come true! =) and you'll be happy everyday! Friends forever! =P