A visit to the hospital.

So while i was studying, mom asked me and sis if we wanted to come along to visit an uncle who was admitted into the hospital. I didn't really want to go because i knew i was weak, i can't really take it. But in the end, i went. It took us quite a long time to reach, cuz we took the wrong turning the first time. So, yeah..we reached. Went up the lift, went to his room. At first, when i walked in the door, i saw an old man, he looked quite strong but he didn't look like how i remembered him. But instead, he pointed to another bed. Surprised, i looked at where he pointed. And then, i saw. I saw my uncle. He had shrinked due to the fact that he couldn't eat as his stomach refuses to take in any food. His skin was all wrinkled up. He slept with his mouth slight opened. I couldn't believe it. No..this can't be happening..i wanted to walk there..but my feet was stucked to the ground, i froze at that spot.

I saw my cousin sister coming in view. She looked weary and she looked haggard. I felt as if someone just squeezed my heart. Everything inside me was churning. I wanted to scream and run away. As if this was a bad nightmare, but it isn't. This uncle, who taught me chinese since i was small, was lying here, in this white room, filled with the smell of anesthetic, on a white bed. I felt tears welling up, but i don't want to cry. No tin front od everyone, and then, my cousin sis woke him up. He looked up and gave me a toothy grin(he lost a few teeth). I smiled back. in my heart, i hope this was really a nightmare. But, i know, no use denying the fact when i know it is true. And then, i smelled ...something.he wetted his pants again. And as soon as they were gettin ready to clean him up, me and my sis walked out. I walked out cuz i didn't want the uncle to feel embarrassed. But my sis couldn't bear the stench. I could, and i would help if i could, but, yeah..its not such a good idea. And while they were cleaning him up, i couldn't bear it any longer. I walked out of the ward, and walked along the corridoors. There, i faced the window and cried. I couldn't believe this was happening. I only hope this is not going to turn out like my cousin bro. I stopped crying whenever somebody passed by. next, i know that crying won't help my cousin sis, i went to the latrine and slashed some water to my face. Smiling at the mirror(LOL!!) i went out. It was the least i could do, being cheerful. Cuz what she needs now is support. And i want to help. So i walked back in with a little skip and hop here and there. But from my sis face, i could tell that she knows i've been crying. But if she knew, she showed no sign of it. And i was grateful for that.

I looked at my cousin sis, she was so weary and haggard. But she still do what a daughter should do. She's taking care of her dad. Suddenly, i felt that, what i've been feeling lately stand no chance to fight with hers. She had to take care of so many things all at once. But me, exam exam and exam. SO what? Exam's not a big deal. I know. SO what if the relationship doesn't work out? But it means a lot to me, So i'm taking back the ''so what if the relationship doesn't work out". but sometimes, i don't know why i struggle so hard. To me, it looks like he doesn't give a damn about it. But i want this to work out, not just end like this. Okay, way out of topic. Ha..um..yeah, that's just about my day. I went home around 8 and just had a hot drink.. chatted for a while..then start studying cuz someone wants to sleep. So i studied around 11 something to 12..then went to sleep. Immediately, i fell asleep. I don't need to toss and turn around for hours only falling asleep.

SO anyway, i have exam today too. LOL. MOm's school is having a holiday, so she went to help out in the hospital. I hope i could go..but, some things are holding me back. EXAMS!!.

BYEE!!=)

April Fool's day. LOL.

yeah, well..i'm kinda busy studying these few days so i didn't exactly blog on the exact day of april fool. LOL. So, today,i was supposed to bring my caligraphy things , but in the end? I forgotten!! OH shit!! Then, while i was on the day to school , somebody asked me, did you bring caligraphy things? And then i was like, OMG!! I didn't bring it!! SHIT!! and everybody heard me saying shit. =.= oops.

then ran into school . yeah, RAN. Found cheeching and asked her, did she bring her caligraphy things? As usual, she didn't. Why as usual? Cuz last year, she never brought except for the last time of exam. LOL. So,she went to buy, and i bought the ink and borrowed the writing pen from SuetZhi. And i thought , problem solved. Oh well, little did i know. So, while we were having exam, i started to write and out of the blue, the head came out of the body. So there were two parts and i was shocked that my mouth opened up. I nearly shouted "HOLY COW" but could do away with the attention, for now. LOL. so i raised my hand and the teacher came , thought i needed more paper, but when i showed her she was like, oh..waddya wanna do? And then i was stunned because she asked..yeah, she's ms yap. not 'somebody'. If its 'somebody', she sure as hell won't give a damn about it. LOL. SO in the end borrowed. When the exam finished, some ppl told me,

WAH!! YOUR PEN PLAY APRIL FOOL WITH YOU AR? HAHAHA...=.=

haha~~very funny. =.= NOT. yeah i know i'm not being a sport, but i was so nervous that it was a wonder i didn't wet my pants at that spot. LOL! Literally...=.=.and then, i'll just skip everything and let's move on to the weekends.

I went to popular due to the fact that my sis wants to buy some books. LOL. As in, revision books. As i was pretty confident about NOT FAILING ANYTHING IN THIS EXAM, i went to look around in the stories section . A few caught my eye but wasn't really feeling the urge to buy them . And then walked walked walked, guess who i saw? WOO CHUN HONG!! OMG!! I quickly hide behind the shelves and suddenly, saw another sentosarian there. OMG..the whole bookstore full of sentosarians!! then, ran to another place and hide..then keep running around like sorpo playing ''catch catch'' sendiri. Syok sendiri. LOL. in the end, came out of ''hiding''. LAWL. and then, went to look at some books again, this time, i saw... NICHOLAS SPARKS series!! I had to use all the strength i had to keep myself from shouting out ''OH MAI GADDD". LOL. a girl gave me a weird look . i glared back at her using a ''what are you looking at'' glare. LOL.=.=. she just walked away. SAD. haha. SO anyway, i practically dragged my mom to have a look at the books, my mom just told me, okay..choose which one you want. And i chose..yeah, how can a mom bare to refuse her own baby daughter...XD. haha..in the end, my sickness came back. I can't make a decision, my mom told me to buy every of his book if i have to, but, i didn't want to buy so much at that time, cuz, i know that i'm gonna neglect my school work and read until i drop . LOL. So, i bought his "Message In A Bottle" and " A Bend In The Road" . And then, i spent so much time choosing the most perfect one, without scratches and stuff, but the worker! SHe just opened the book so big!! I nearly cried at the spot! Yeah, i'm a cry baby. So what? =.= And then, i just walk off..and being in a VERY bad mood on the way home. Mom didn't really talk about it. Until we reached home. MOm was telling dad about what happened and i just cried. Yeah, you heard me right, i just cried. SAt down and cried. Mom and dad comfort me but my sis just said, crazy..==''. I didn't want to talk to her, she always did that to me. LOL. End of story, i can't talk about it anymore, i'll get pissed off again and cry. LOL.

So yeah..that's the end, of the story..=) or blog..=.=.. or post. =.="!
Byee..=]

Exams.. are driving me nuts. Gahh.

Okay, first, i'm gonna apologize for leaving moi blog dead without 2 seconds notice. LOL. Nah, i'm just kidding. So anyway , took advantage to online this morning as I felt it was a really good day to online (despite the fact that i have to memorise the stupid moral nilai's) so anyway, um..i'll just start with what happened yesterday , okay.. so.. we had chinese paper 1 and moral yesterday . Skip skip skip.. we finished chinese exam (FINALLY!) yeah, well..i'm not gonna say I THINK i'm gonna fail..cuz i probably won't , the least is i'll get "not-very-good-marks" that's all. LOL. And so it rained during recess, no need tugas SR, tugas kelas, but where i go? Pergi cari kawan pula. SO chatted with chee ching and phuiyeng, then pulled a trick on siao suan. It went like this , she walked past me , so i just slapped her butt , then she turned but she can't see anyone, and by chance, yuen chang yoong walked past. You guys should have really seen their expression , the way their expression change is priceless. OMG!! I was laughing like hell and yuen chang yoong was busy explaining that it wasn't him that did it. OMg!! It was so funny!! And then, there was no eletricity. Walao..i was on the edge on losing my temper.. Yeah, i don't know why, but everytime i come back from tugas, very hot, no wind? I feel like standing up and getting on ppl's nerve, LOL. So anyway, i keep telling myself心静自然凉. But, apparently, it doesn't do much help. GAhh.

So i tried to calm myself by reading "Dear John" instead of the stupid moral nilai's that might probably set me off and i'll just explode. LOL. Yeah, it did help. Amamzing what books can do , huh? MOving on, while i was indulged in reading this fascinating book, (=.=) the person in front of me(yeo kee gim) turned and told me ,

yeo: 应该不用考试了。
me: 琢磨？
yeo: 都没有电。
me: 吓？！！酱都给你讲到！
yeo: 是嘛，看老师手上都没有考卷。。。
me: 是咩？你不要逃避现实啦。。现在暴风雨他都要你坐在这边考啦！
yeo: 不懂哦，希望不要囖。。。
me: *LMAO！！

In the end, still need to exam. Gahh.. "don't avoid the truth larh." LOL. anyway, finished this, he turned and told me again,

yeo: 希望现在有电啦。。很热哩。。
me: OMG，好希望不希望，现在希望有电？好笑，你不希望我们考试的时候有电不是跟好？咋 到！
yeo: 哦，酱希望明天啦。。。
me: *甘拜下风。。

LOL.don't know if today we're gonna have to take exam . Haha! Just kidding, even if there's an earthquake, i'll bet they still want us to menduduki exam . GAhh!!

List of movies...lawl.

Yea yea yea, i'm here to blog again..
No no no, its not gonna be an emo post..
At least, its gonna be a list of movies i plan to watch.

Hmm..

1. Valentine's day
2. Alice in Wonderland
3. The lovely bones
4. Sherlock Holmes(yeah, i know its a long time ago movie, so what?)
5. Alvin and the Chipmunks The squeekuel
6. Dear John
7. The Last Song
8. Harry potter and the Deathly Hallows
9. Eclipse *screams and faints
10. ....still waiting to fill in... LOL.

Omg omg..i seriously can't wait to watch these movies..I think if think anymore i really don't need to have exam already. LOL. Totally obsessed with movies man..LOL.

Anyway, anyone wanna teman me watch all these movies?? Haha..i'm just kidding. Of cos i need to watch with my friends lurhh.. watch those romantic movie with my parents, later in cinema watch halfway pull me out. LOL. Say, under 18 cannot watch .=.= zadao... So, i gotta go now! =) byee!!

Dear John...

Dear John, tell me everything, write it all down. That way ,we'll be with each other all the time even if we're not with each other at all...its a full moon here tonight which makes me think of you.Dear John...i miss you so much that it hurts.

Yeap, this is from the movie Dear John based on Nicholas Sparks novel. Omgg, i can't wait for this movie. I think its coming out soon..(at least,i hope so)..=.=

Just a short post, cuz i'm bored.

Seriously, i mean.. i know that exams are coming, but..

HOW THE HELL DO I STUDY IT?!!

omg..i feel like jumping off a cliff. LOL. JUst kidding.

Gahh...

What do you mean to me?

I finally know the answer.

You mean everything to me.

Regrets.. what's the use of it when it can't change anything?

Nah, i'm just posting another emo post..
so if u think i'm posting crap post,
just read until here and then you stop.

LOL.

I wondered again,
if i really just kept things to myself,
if i didn't go to NZ,
if just said i love you to him every night like usual,
would things turn out like this?
would i regret that i lost him?

Gee, sometimes, ppl are right..
life is unfair...or so, i thought.
Because we shouldn't ask for more?
Or is it because that's what God thinks?
I honestly do not understand..
until now,
I'M CONFUSED.

I can't gather up the courage to tell you 2 things that happened,
I keep getting the feel that if i tell you about this,
I will lose you forever.

I know, between 2lovers,
there shouldn't be any secrets..
but,well..yeah..you know, we're not..
and, we can't even have secrets that will keep both of them together?

Cheeching told me,
if something like this really happens,that is,
if the word gets out.
see the situation, and then only tell him.
Because, if i just break down in front of him and tell him,
it would end.
Just like holding a glass bottle and dropping it.

I didn't want to make it look like i forced you ,
so i didn't tell you about that misunderstanding..
you want it over,
yeah.. whatever you want.
But sometimes, i wish you would maybe try to understand what i'm feeling..
I don't want you to do what lovers should do,because we're not..
I just want to know that even if we're not together, you still have feel for me..
and talk to me about your day,what you're thinking,
because i'm no mind reader.

If i could read your mind,
then Edward could read Bella's mind then,
i know.. i know.. you told me you're sorry..
and i said okay. because it was really okay.
i didn't buy you or sign a contract that said you would be mine for eternity,
so i have to let go..though i know it isn't easy..
which is really NOT easy, phew,
i could sweat like hell whenever i don't see you,
and i find myself looking for you everytime i see the school bell rings..
i think i look like a red cooked lobster when i see you.
must be ironic , huh?

I don't know what is it about you,
that made me love you,
was i under the impression we were gonna be together for a very long time?
Yes. i was.
But now, i guess things didn't turn out the way we expected huh?
But, its okay..really.
If i can live to see you everyday laughing with your friends,
i thank God that he brought me to this world,
and met you. =)

I did those things was because i wanted to,
not because i want you to feel obligated to do something back in return for me,
because i feel that no matter how,
those things are worth it.
And i'm not kidding. LOL.

Some one said,
you know, i don't know what you see in him..
I will say back,
you know, you're really not in any place to judge him.
so just fcuk off you jerk.
(which is true, that person is a jerk)

LOL.

yeah, i think that's all..
phew..it is kinda good to let it all out..
xxx is right, i should let out everything once in a while,
or i'll go mad.
haha..i'm going to school soon,
gotta get ready..wish i was a vampire though,
could use the speed..haha! and the memory..LOL.=D

Pandu camp . Gahh. ==''.

Me and chee ching's phone.. yeah! same wall paper. LOL.==''..


Ho min was so happy when everyone of us got a big box of chocolate . WoW!

this is mine!! omgg!! thank you Datuk Yeoh!! X)

this is our campfire.. group one doing performance..cool thing!

and while we were hiking, the teachers use their car. so good. LOL.==''...

haha.. this one..i also dunno what we're doing. ==''..

ohh..they're doing the ladang kuda.. LOL.

Getting ready so we camwhore a bit. XD

Kailing...u sleep more than me lehh.. how come more tired lehh? =D

Oh gawd..my AJK so sampatt..haha! i ask them do de la.. LOL.==''..

Perasannya!! XD took for fun..=)

LOL.. i know i know..very perasan ==''..

she's washing her face.. and its all white..haha! u know, my setiausaha laughs like a horse. LOL.

see? look out of the window and you can see the LRT. LOL.==''..

LOL ~

okay, see this? this is siao suan's body shampoo. how did it get up there? well, while i was bathing, i forgot to bring my body shampoo in...then ask siao suan throw over..mana tahu..she throw until past my cubicle and landed on top. OOpsie ;X

this is our goal. haha!

random pic. LOL.

siao suan did this. hhaa!

this boy is really cute..and the girls too..=)

LOOK!!!a football in the middle of the padang.WOOHOO!!

see 2 legs on top of ss? that's mine. haha!

o.o.. sexy ! XDDDD

this is me!! the pro! LOL. i'm just kidding.. haha! chee ching took it,and she was quite Proud of herself for taking this photo. LOL.

LOL !!!!

Yeah, you must be thinking : "Is this called holiday ?!! One after another.. LOL!" yeah, this is not called holiday , this is called busydayS. LOL . So , wednesday afternoon, came back..went to bathe..was already half asleep when eating , then mom told me fast fast go pack my stuff then go tidur. Then my sis started to get really sick , so in the end , i have to sleep with my dad , respect elders? He sleep on my bed i sleep on a mattress lor. My dad so late come in , in the end, i have t sms to teman me sleep. LOL. I usually like a good chat befoe i go to bed , and now my sis sick , LOL.Sms halfway waiting for someone msg, then fell asleep cuz was really exhausted . LOL. sorry . ;X

then next morning wake up, saw the msg "someone" sent and replied. @.@ next, prepared everythng and my dad drove me to my pandu HQ. Saw a lot of campers and when i got down the car they were staring at me. I'm like a superstar. XD omgg, ;-) then, found melanie they all and went to help out. though do what i dunno. So in the end , helped to peel the onion and garlic. And you can guess, yeah..our hands smell like hell after that. =(

After that, we found a football in the middle of the padang! That's so cool! And i went all hyper and started to kick it. But, it was kinda running outta air . But what to do? that's the only thing to keep us entertained. So we start to go crazy. LOL. Took a few pictures, LOL.. play until like pro..LOL. Actually all of us has no idea how to play , all we know is, kick the ball and if it hits one place, we goal. LOL. very lame. Haha. but we still syok sendiri. And then tired ourselves out and went to the tent to rest. Took a few pictures. hmm..

Oh ya, next, we ditangkap pergi buat kerja . LOL. actually we want to ignore that lou gu po. ==''.. i know she's married , but i just simply say, then thought, aiya, we come here work de mar.. go la go la. So we went. Little did we know, we go until have to do banyak kerja tim! Like wash the pots and pans..then scrub the floor. Walao, cinderella meh?! ==''..then , it got on our nerves , cuz the lou gu po said, if we didn't wash one pot or plate, she will call us up even though we are sleeping . HUH!! i'd like to see that! YOu can call me up only you say this larh! U know, when i sleep , if you suddenly come and wake me up , i seriously won't choi you. You try shaking me, you kena larh. I will slap you and kick you really hard. I'm serious . LOL. Then she tell us, finish work don't try to cabut , if not want find us do things very hard . WALAO. we heard this all of us curi curi cabut lorh! then later she sendiri carry those things out. DAI SEI. LOL ==''..

Then, we went to sleep. But before that, we bathed and ate some midnight snacks. =)! LOL.. and then, keng gai for a while, then everyone went to sleep. zzz~~ IN the middle of the night , there was something really getting to me, so i talked with cheeching until around 2 sth a.m. COol eh? hahahaha. LOOL ! After that , we slept like a log . Skip SKip SKip. It was nearly dawn.. i was sleeping in the cozy sleeping bag when suddenly i heard "You're way to beautiful girl ,....~~~" I nearly screamed cuz it was so loud!! and it was chipmunk version!!! or so, melanie said so, i just heard this song, and then i was talking to myself, shut it! shut it..i keep saying. LOL.. but it rang every 10 minute. GAHH!. in the end, got tired of it, and woke up. the campers were already up and did their senaman pagi. LOL.

then , nothing interesting happened.. just went hiking. Actually want to walk until mid valley there.. but dunnno what the teacher say, cannot wor..so we walked back. Haiz. Then,went to 7-11. yeah! Bought some things. And saw some THINGS- condom. LOL. SWTZ!! selena was promoting it, and the worker there was looking at us.. AHAHAHAHa! I ran out of 7 eleven laughing.. LOL. LMAO!!! got a lot flavour de tim! dunno what brand, but saw the picture is 2 person (1boy 1 girl) on the bed. LOL. then we fast fast buy our things and walk out. MUAHAHAHA! Very funny .. LOL. Then, nothing interesting happened. siao suan and cheeching went back, so me and melanie we wondering around the whole place and just walked into our room and started to talk.. LOL. talk until we lost track of time. But, wow.. exchanging stories were such fun things.. HAHA! ==''...

Then ho min became our "light bulb" and called me.

Wei er, where are you?!

HUH? where are you wor?!

i'm in the hall..!!

OHhh...then?

Fast fast come help!

okay.

then me and melanie went out of the room to help to serve those campers. LOL.. so good..got ppl serve..==''.. we AJK makanan eat leftovers. And to somebody, We are AJK makanan. Not kitchen workers. GAhh. Really like mother like daughter. ==''.. kitchen workers wor.. no wonder no one choi you larh. ==''..LOL then, after cleaning up everything.. bla bla bla.. campfire wor.. skip this part larh.. quie sien lor.. then, erm.. habis.. want to go and bathe. MAna tahu?!! Bo water wor!! OMGG!!! i was near to tears.. cuz i'm so sticky, so of course need to bathe lar.. and was thinking of evry single way how to get water.. then someone told me, "use mineral water". and then, we started searching for mineral water but it will waste a lot. So we connected a pipe to those toilet place and bathe.. ew..i nearly puke. but what to do?got bathe better than no bathe lor.. ==''..then sms for a while.. and melanie went out to talk on her phone.. so i was alone in the room. And, fell asleep. When melanie came back she saw my phone on the floor.. so she know i fall asleep ady. Phew. So tired. And then, we went to sleep. nothing else. OHh!! Chee ching came back the next morning! and we syok sendiri holding a stick and dance the chicken dance. haha.. Then those flag pole, we carry it ony our shouder like a tootoo train, and started to march. Omgg..so funny..haha.. selena gave stupid commands larh!! haha! anyway, that's all. for now.. i need to prepare for school already. =) byee!!