Nah, i'm just posting another emo post..
so if u think i'm posting crap post,
just read until here and then you stop.
LOL.
I wondered again,
if i really just kept things to myself,
if i didn't go to NZ,
if just said i love you to him every night like usual,
would things turn out like this?
would i regret that i lost him?
Gee, sometimes, ppl are right..
life is unfair...or so, i thought.
Because we shouldn't ask for more?
Or is it because that's what God thinks?
I honestly do not understand..
until now,
I'M CONFUSED.
I can't gather up the courage to tell you 2 things that happened,
I keep getting the feel that if i tell you about this,
I will lose you forever.
I know, between 2lovers,
there shouldn't be any secrets..
but,well..yeah..you know, we're not..
and, we can't even have secrets that will keep both of them together?
Cheeching told me,
if something like this really happens,that is,
if the word gets out.
see the situation, and then only tell him.
Because, if i just break down in front of him and tell him,
it would end.
Just like holding a glass bottle and dropping it.
I didn't want to make it look like i forced you ,
so i didn't tell you about that misunderstanding..
you want it over,
yeah.. whatever you want.
But sometimes, i wish you would maybe try to understand what i'm feeling..
I don't want you to do what lovers should do,because we're not..
I just want to know that even if we're not together, you still have feel for me..
and talk to me about your day,what you're thinking,
because i'm no mind reader.
If i could read your mind,
then Edward could read Bella's mind then,
i know.. i know.. you told me you're sorry..
and i said okay. because it was really okay.
i didn't buy you or sign a contract that said you would be mine for eternity,
so i have to let go..though i know it isn't easy..
which is really NOT easy, phew,
i could sweat like hell whenever i don't see you,
and i find myself looking for you everytime i see the school bell rings..
i think i look like a red cooked lobster when i see you.
must be ironic , huh?
I don't know what is it about you,
that made me love you,
was i under the impression we were gonna be together for a very long time?
Yes. i was.
But now, i guess things didn't turn out the way we expected huh?
But, its okay..really.
If i can live to see you everyday laughing with your friends,
i thank God that he brought me to this world,
and met you. =)
I did those things was because i wanted to,
not because i want you to feel obligated to do something back in return for me,
because i feel that no matter how,
those things are worth it.
And i'm not kidding. LOL.
Some one said,
you know, i don't know what you see in him..
I will say back,
you know, you're really not in any place to judge him.
so just fcuk off you jerk.
(which is true, that person is a jerk)
LOL.
yeah, i think that's all..
phew..it is kinda good to let it all out..
xxx is right, i should let out everything once in a while,
or i'll go mad.
haha..i'm going to school soon,
gotta get ready..wish i was a vampire though,
could use the speed..haha! and the memory..LOL.=D
