I've finally reached my 100th post. I'm suppose to be happy, aren't i? Why can't i be like a normal person and just get over it? Why do i have to suffer so long? Why can't i just be a playgirl who just switches according to the environment? WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SUCH A WEAKLING?!
I've spent 3 sleepless nights. I don't have the appetite of eating, whenever i eat, its just for the sake of putting on a show and say i'm normal. I don't know what's happening to me. Everynight i have nightmares, everynight if i have to sleep i have to cry myself to sleep. I've completely lost myself, i try to occupy myself by doing loads of things , but whenever i look at my phone, i missed everything. I know i promised to be a brave girl, but i can't help it when the tears start flowing. I am trying, i really am. I went to help out at our pandu gotong royong with the scouts, i tried to make myself imprint on one of them. But, somehow, like i said, although there were some who were cute, but why can't i just ,''Oh, he's cute, i like him," and then ask him out?(as in, asking for hp number)=.=! I honestly don't know what to think anymore.
I'm afraid of going mad. Everynight, i'm afraid something might happen to me. Everynight, my bedsheets and pillow case are wet. LIke i said, i've lost myself. I've never thought about how i would die, but, what would happen if i went? I wanted to see the world, i wanted to help the world,if i'd gone, i'd only see the world through other things.
My memories were all gone. I can't believe that you just deleted it. But its your blog, i can't say anything. Probably its the best way to let me forget huh? But why? Why did u have to ask ''her'' to help me forget you? I said i would didn't i? Why did you have to do that? I guess this means whatever we had was nothing to you. It was just all a show of toying with my feelings and then throw me away? Like i said, i'm disappointed in you. But i don't want you to live your life full of regrets. Just because of this small thing in your life. You read my blog, you should know what i want from you. Just be happy, just smile..even though when you don't want to, just let me see you smile kay? Let me know, i've done the right choice in trying to let go. That you're happier this way. for me? Please, that's all i ask of you. Thank you. you promise me that, i'll promise you something:
I'll forget you. I'll forget our past. I'll forget everything. Happy?
Deal.
I've spent 3 sleepless nights. I don't have the appetite of eating, whenever i eat, its just for the sake of putting on a show and say i'm normal. I don't know what's happening to me. Everynight i have nightmares, everynight if i have to sleep i have to cry myself to sleep. I've completely lost myself, i try to occupy myself by doing loads of things , but whenever i look at my phone, i missed everything. I know i promised to be a brave girl, but i can't help it when the tears start flowing. I am trying, i really am. I went to help out at our pandu gotong royong with the scouts, i tried to make myself imprint on one of them. But, somehow, like i said, although there were some who were cute, but why can't i just ,''Oh, he's cute, i like him," and then ask him out?(as in, asking for hp number)=.=! I honestly don't know what to think anymore.
I'm afraid of going mad. Everynight, i'm afraid something might happen to me. Everynight, my bedsheets and pillow case are wet. LIke i said, i've lost myself. I've never thought about how i would die, but, what would happen if i went? I wanted to see the world, i wanted to help the world,if i'd gone, i'd only see the world through other things.
My memories were all gone. I can't believe that you just deleted it. But its your blog, i can't say anything. Probably its the best way to let me forget huh? But why? Why did u have to ask ''her'' to help me forget you? I said i would didn't i? Why did you have to do that? I guess this means whatever we had was nothing to you. It was just all a show of toying with my feelings and then throw me away? Like i said, i'm disappointed in you. But i don't want you to live your life full of regrets. Just because of this small thing in your life. You read my blog, you should know what i want from you. Just be happy, just smile..even though when you don't want to, just let me see you smile kay? Let me know, i've done the right choice in trying to let go. That you're happier this way. for me? Please, that's all i ask of you. Thank you. you promise me that, i'll promise you something:
I'll forget you. I'll forget our past. I'll forget everything. Happy?
Deal.
